retiredorangemen.com Blog

- Pregnancy has done Jessica Alba’s chi-chis goooood.

-  Nick, if you need any suggestions on where to get married next year, may I present you this idea.

- “It’s not unusual to have an enormous penis!”

- Noooooooooooooooooo.

- Ummm, Allocco?

- Don’t worry, Matt, Jason is still going to take you with his second pick this year. So you got that going for you, which is nice.

- Sorry I didn’t let you guys know ahead of time, but I’ve announced my retirement.

- I’m guessing The Smash isn’t going to like this bit of news.

- Well, this is an elementary move. Whatever that means.

- Maybe Colin Farrell isn’t such a douchebag, afterall.

- Where does the pending A-Rod divorce rank among sports’ best?

- Man, life as a model must be hard.

- It’s pleasant to see that $4 gas is good for someone.

- Counting down to Friday’s new iPhone release.

- Oh yeah, I like this idea.

- A 40th birthday worth celebrating. Ya know, if you’re into heart attacks.

- I told you this story was going to get better. And is anyone picking up on a theme with these broads?

- I’m not much for Top 10 Lists, but this is one I can get my head around.

-  Some Tarantino news to get excited about?

- I hate to be insensitive, but if you order crab meat at Ruby Tuesday’s, you have to expect these kinds of things.

- You know what, George, I know exactly how you feel. Actually, no, I don’t.

- Not gonna lie, I like this move for Showtime.

- Uh huh, because “Jordache” was already taken.

- Bald is beautiful, and don’t you forget it.

- How early do you think he’s gonna go in this fall’s ROFBL Draft?

- The Brewers?! What’s the over/under on brat eat-offs between C.C. and Prince? Oh, right, Prince is a vegan.

- Somewhere dracula is rolling over in his grave.

- And in related news, smoking will give you cancer.

- My only question: What took so long for this to come out?

- There’s a reason why no Cleveland team has won a championship since the 1964 Browns.

- There’s only one way to settle this: KY wrestling match!

- Day 4: C-Rod vs. A-Rod. And it’s only going to get uglier.

- These skills might have been useful keeping Bo out of the end zone.

- So much for having ROFFL Draft 2009 in Connorsville, Wisc.

- Greatest. Tennis. Match. Ever.

- The story that keeps on giving. Perhaps the rest of the Bombers’ sluggers should be “brainwashed” by Madge. Oh, right, they won last night.

- Building strip club patrons for the next generation. An idea we can all get behind.

- Umm, Rich, look out.

- Mr. 4th of July, Mr. $100 million, Mr. Fresh Prince (or anything else you want to call him) did it again…. stay tuned for my review.

- So, I guess, this Guitar Hero thing is popular. How did Steven and the boys stack up?

-  Personally, I think there’s not enough Boston and New York players in the game. And we all know who Marc will be voting in, don’t we?

- Raise your hand if you believe any of this crapola? (Umm, I shouldn’t be seeing any hands.)

- Please tell me VA and I weren’t the only ones who watched this?

“Chinese Democracy” will happen someday!

- Guess it was just her turn.

- Now if I could only get my hands on that sweet auto-drying jacket.

- Umm, in hindsight maybe this wasn’t such the best idea in the first place.

- Since it appears our fellow ROFFLer are dropping like flies, I figured this was appropriate.

- Well that’s a relief, I was really worried about her.

- Looking for something good to watch this summer?

- July 4, 1776. No matter your gender, color or creed, be thankful you live in the greatest place on earth.

- U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

- If Stephen Colbert is involved in a list, then it’s probably going to be something worthwhile.

- In case you have a Delorean and can check out every major city’s fireworks display, here’s where you should go first.

- Patriotism, anyone?

- That’s a mighty good find, right there.

- Rockers rocking out with the Stars and Stripes.

- As always, ‘Thank You’ to our troops.

- Aaaaaaaand stiiiiiilllllllllll Hot Dog Eating Champion of the Woooooooorld!!! (and in an eat-off no less!)

- Note to self: Cancel trip to Bucharest.

- Personally, I think NPH is in the lead for Best Supporting Actor.

- I know this is the most important Presidential Election of our time, but this might be taking it a little far.

- In case anyone wanted my opinion, I like Serena over Venus and Roger over Rafael.

- When you’ve beat cancer, shutting out the Yankees is really a walk in the park.

- I knew I never wanted to visit London.

God Bless America!!

- Well it’s glad to see this ended well for both parties. Somewhere Shawn Kemp and Detlef Schrempf are rolling over in their graves.

- How did you think Cantor gets all those dates?

- Because 85 can’t have enough distractions this off season.

- I’m only showing up if Mrs. Ari is gonna be there.

- Apparently, not everyone is a fan of Manny being Manny.

- MMA is taking over the world. If you’re not into it, THIS GUY is fighting THIS GUY, Saturday, on PPV, and it should be an epic fight.

- Happy 4th, everyone!!

- It’s a good thing the Yankees don’t have a big series this weekend against, say, the Red Sox. What with all this A-Rod separating from his wife news. Oh, snap.

- Missed recent blockbusters? Don’t sweat it, they’ll be on FX in no time. And by “in no time,” I mean in 2010.

- I’m going to go out on a limb here and say this is probably the best news I’ve heard all day. Because, well, frankly, I think I have a chance. Optimistically speaking, of course. (No truth to the rumor that Lenny Kravitz is involved.)

- And Marc just blew his load. Which one of the Israel Crew is cleaning it up?

- This is how I got rid of all my tats, actually. Believe it or not, it wasn’t that painful.

- Don’t call it a comeback, he’s been here for years. Rockin’ his peers and puttin’ suckas infear. Makin’ the tears rain down like MON-soon. Listen to the bass go BOOM.